Thank You for Breaking Me

A Letter to the Person Who Shattered Me, and the Lessons I Learned from the Pain

This letter is something deeply personal, written to a person who played a major role in my life, someone who broke me in ways I never expected. But sometimes, the greatest growth comes from the greatest pain. In writing this, I’m reflecting on how far I’ve come, how I’ve healed, and how I’ve transformed. Maybe you’ll resonate with it, or perhaps it will encourage you to face your own past, to forgive, and to heal.

Dear person who broke me,

I have thought about you more than I would ever care to admit to anyone over the years. The last words you said to me were like swords piercing my chest, ones I was unable to pull out for many, many years.

I allowed myself to bleed and break for you over and over, even after you were long gone from my life. I don’t think you’ll ever fully leave me, as your energy is forever intertwined with mine, but I feel more and more free from you—and more importantly, free to believe in love and hope again.

You were a huge catalyst on my journey. You broke me to the point where I had no idea who I was, and in fact, I was sure I wouldn’t survive. But day after day, even as my heart bled through my skin, cracking and peeling it open a million times over, I persisted. I fought for my healing. I chose to tear down tower after tower of all the people I used to be yet never was, and I chose to build something better, more beautiful, more sturdy than anything you ever gave me.

I resented you for a long time, but the bitterness and anger only hurt my heart, mind, and body. Over time, I began to see everything more clearly. I began to see you more clearly.

I don’t regret you. I don’t think I ever will. There was chemistry and passion between us unlike anything I’ve experienced before. And you broke me, finally, to a point where I decided I would never allow anyone to do what you did to me.

And slowly but surely, I’m beginning to have more gratitude and love for you. As souls, we chose to play these parts for each other for healing and growth. I have no idea what your lessons have been, or the extent of them, but the ones I have learned from you have changed every single part of me. I certainly hope I provided what I was meant to for you, too.

I felt bound to you for so long, haunted by you, in a way I thought I’d never be free. But I was free the whole time.

And without everything that happened, that beautiful soul that came from you would never exist. And I have to admit, he’s precious. I hope you treat your family with respect and fight for them. I hope you fight for them in the way I fought for you, until your very last breath, until you can fight no longer.

But I do hope you remember me every once in a while and think of me, and what could have been. What your son, who would have come from me, would have looked like, had you not thrown him away.

I hope you think of how I saved your life, after you did your best to end it. I knew there was hope for you, and for that, I’m happy I was right.

Maybe one day, we’ll cross paths again, when we’re both old and wrinkly. And we’ll laugh about all the silly fights we had, and reminisce on the good old times, when we were young and reckless. Maybe we never will, and that’s okay too.

I’m sure I’ll see you on the other side, nonetheless, for you always have been and always will be a part of me.

I hope you remember how much you made me laugh, how accepted you made me feel, how beautiful you made me feel. You always looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world, like you never wanted to let me go, and I hope you remember those times.

I hope you remember the times of belly-deep laughter between us, the crazy times like sneaking into hotel pools, staying up all night until the crack of dawn, and sleeping together in a twin bed all day.

Thank you for giving me some of the best times of my life. In the midst of all the darkness and conflict between us, sometimes I forget that. But I’m keeping it close this time. Because those memories mean something. It reminds me of a time when I felt free, adventurous, reckless, wild, in love…

And I wanna believe that part of me still exists. You helped bring her out, and I suppressed her after you and have been living in gray-scale since. But I no longer want to be afraid. I want to pour so much light and love into all the memories of you, until I reclaim those parts of myself, because I know they were never lost.

As for the “bad” ones… they protected me in that time, but they have been shed along with hundreds of layers of skin since. I must admit, I’m still putting myself together. Or at least, learning to.

I’m still learning to remember my worth. To remember that even when I’m curvier, I’m still worthy. Even when my skin is red, I’m still worthy. Even with glasses I’ve always hated wearing, I’m still worthy.

You showed me that, but I suppressed my self-worth throughout the years.

Nonetheless, you played such a major catalyst in my life—maybe the biggest of them all, arguably—that it would be silly not to give you credit for who I am today and how far I’ve come. If I shall make anything of myself and change the world in a better way, hopefully, I owe some of that to you.

Because you broke me hard enough that it shattered me entirely, until I decided I had the power to put myself back together in any way I wanted. And that’s a powerful thing to do for someone. Love does that. And so I know, even if I’m just a secret in your life now, something you’d rather sweep under the rug and forget, there was love. You are love, as am I.

And we were such perfect mirrors for each other, that it allowed me to grow into stronger, wiser, more resilient versions of me than I ever thought possible.

So, I know I’ll be okay.

Because you taught me some of the greatest lessons anyone ever could. You taught me how to break and heal, how to fall and rise, how to hate and love.

It was all necessary. It was all part of the plan. We played it out perfectly.

Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for showing me who I’m not and never was, so I can step into my authenticity and truth and finally be who I truly am. So I can finally be free.

I send you so much love and gratitude, and appreciation for all that you were and are now.

Love,

The person who saved you.

Reflection:

This letter is a part of my healing journey. It’s a reminder that even the people who have hurt us can serve as catalysts for growth. Sometimes, it takes breaking to rebuild something better, stronger, and more authentic. If you’re reading this, remember that no one can break you beyond your ability to heal. We have all the strength we need within us to rise, to love again, and to create a life full of meaning.