Faith

When there’s so much uncertainty in our lives everywhere we look, all we can do is look within and trust. Dare I say have faith? Faith is something that I wasn’t exactly raised with – I thought one must be religious to have faith.  

I never thought about the universe and how vast the world is, and that maybe, just maybe there is another force, another energy, guiding it all. I never knew how chaos and order go hand in hand, emptiness and fullness, beauty and ugliness. And at the end of the day, light and dark. Even after the worst storms, come a sunny day again, and even after a sunny day, a storm eventually comes again. Things will always fall, they cannot stay up at all times. But they also cannot stay down, either.  

There is no permanence to anything, except for the energy that lies within us, that makes up the core of who we are. Not our personality, not our ego, and not our mind, but our true essence. The essence that is a part of the all .. the all that is.  

Some might say it’s silly for me to have faith and believe in something greater after all of the suffering and trauma in my life, but it’s because of that, that I do believe in something greater within us all. It’s because of all the suffering and trauma, that I now have built so much faith. What other way can I explain the depths of the darkness that I, myself, have been plunged in – time and time again, only to get out and take a deep breath again? Even in the moments I thought I couldn’t go on anymore, I was sure I couldn’t, something was guiding me the whole time. Just like something is guiding all of us. It is the very same thing that guides the changes in the seasons on this earth. And we, too, just like the planet, have our own seasons. We teach ourselves to shy away from the ones that don’t feel as “good”, and enjoy ourselves when they do, yet they’re all very much part of life – even the in between, the limbo.  

In fact, the place in between, the place between the exhale and the inhale, the place when it’s cloudy and dark outside, yet hasn’t stormed yet, sometimes those are the most beautiful and important of all.  For that’s where that stillness lies. That same stillness that’s within each and every one of us, always guiding us home to ourselves.  

I don’t know what it is about this life, but I never quite noticed how magical it truly is before. There’s something magical in each moment. Even when the skies are thrashing and thunder is ravaging the lands and seas, there is a beauty to it all. There is the smell of the rain, and the refreshing anticipation of the sunshine that’s to come afterwards. All that beauty, packed into one tiny, small, present moment. It’s actually quite exquisite, if you ask me.  

Even when it seems like there’s so much uncertainty everywhere, there is order and certainty behind that too. Sometimes we just have to stay still enough to find it again, to come home to it again, to come home to ourselves again. It’s always there, waiting for us to come back, no matter how far we may have strayed. It is always welcoming, never judging, and all accepting. It is a love greater than our human minds can ever comprehend. An unconditional love guiding us home – to our spirit and soul, to ourselves.