When Friendship Breaks Your Heart

Romantic heartbreak is talked about all the time, and gets all the attention. It’s the central theme of so many stories, whether in blogs, books, songs, or movies. But what about friendship heartbreak? The pain of losing someone you trusted, someone you thought would always be there? Sometimes, that kind of heartbreak is even more crushing. It cuts even deeper.

This is a story I’ve definitely been putting off sharing – another one of those times where when you write about it, it just makes it more real and more painful. However, I’m well aware that also means it’s healing, and it is my way of healing I always go back to eventually, so here I am.

Over the past year and a half or so, I would say I had a best friend. Or at least… I thought I did. Someone I trusted both as a friend and business partner, worked with closely, and even asked to be my maid of honor when I got engaged this year in September.

I poured a LOT of my energy into a big project we had worked on for the past year, doing website design, writing, marketing – the list goes on. At first, everything seemed to align perfectly. But over time, I started to see cracks in the foundation. I stopped getting my regular monthly payments for my work, and I felt that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling that we all know we shouldn’t ignore, but oftentimes do, because we simply don’t want it to be true. And unfortunately, I did ignore it at the time. I continued to work on the project for free, with promises that it will “pay off” once its out there, as I’d make a portion of the proceeds, and it would kick off our business.

But then Thanksgiving came around, of all days. And everything changed.

I opened Instagram, and right away, saw my “friend” had made a post and stories announcing our workshop. My designs, my work, plastered across the screen. Except… I wasn’t part of it. I had no idea it was happening. My so-called “best friend” had gone behind my back, taken our work, and moved forward without a word. I messaged my “friend” and expressed how hurt and betrayed I felt, and to this day – silence. Deafening, heartbreaking silence.

But sometimes, silence speaks louder than words ever could. And let me tell you… this silence is LOUD.

This silence reminds me of how she broke my heart. She took the work we did together, the plans we made together, and went behind my back, not even having the respect for me to face me and say something to me – ANYTHING.

I’m not even upset about the money I lost and am owed from empty promises. I’m not even that upset about my work being taken like that, as much as I am about losing someone I thought was a friend, someone I actually trusted. Someone I considered so important to me, that I asked them to be the one person by my side on one of the most important days of my life.

Unfortunately, it turns out there was no honor—only betrayal, heartbreak, and grief.

Because friendship heartbreak IS real. It’s messy, complicated, and just as painful as any other (even romantic) loss. Maybe even more so because we don’t talk about it enough. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life of quite a few trials and tribulations, to say the least – it’s that healing is possible, and that everything happens for a reason. I’ll take the experience and the lessons forward with me into the new projects and collaborations I’ve been working on (and more to come).

But for now, I’m taking it one day at a time, reflecting on all the lessons this has taught me (and continues to), allowing myself to grieve and feel when needed, and last but not least, reminding myself that I DO deserve better – so much better.

Have you ever experienced friendship heartbreak? How did you move forward? Let me know in the comments or by replying to this email—I’d love to hear your thoughts.