From my earliest memories, the concept of boundaries was foreign to me. The distinction between where I ended and someone else began remained unclear until I matured and embarked on a journey of learning and personal and inner growth.
The struggles of being a people-pleaser
In my youth, I grappled with being a chronic people-pleaser, coupled with struggles in co-dependency. I found myself consistently drawn to relationships where feeling “needed” was a prerequisite, a means of seeking external attention and validation. It took years for me to realize that self-reliance is key, and external validation is merely a bonus.
Skin as a boundary and symbolism
Considering that our skin acts as the boundary separating us from the external world, this concept strikes a chord with me. Symbolically, our skin functions as a filter for environmental elements, safeguarding our internal organs. This mirrors the purpose of psychological boundaries in our relationships.
Understanding Boundaries
Boundaries can be likened to invisible lines we draw with ourselves and others, a figurative “line in the sand” declaring our limits. They dictate what we are willing to accept, tolerate, and not tolerate. The nature of boundaries varies across individuals and relationships, with some being more protective and rigid, while others are flexible and set at a distance.
As humans, we all possess limits, a threshold of what we are capable or willing to endure in relationships. Boundaries serve as protectors, signaling when someone might be causing more harm than good. We then have the choice to assess whether their presence is worth altering or sacrificing our boundaries.
Boundaries and Skin Health
Growing up, I underestimated the importance of this aspect, and it manifested in a direct correlation between my psychological and emotional boundaries and the condition of my skin. The state of my skin reflected the strength of my psychological and emotional boundaries.
Learning the Art of Boundaries
With age comes the realization of the significance of drawing boundaries. I am continuously learning the importance of knowing my place, understanding where I stand, and recognizing what I am willing to accept from both myself and others.
This approach allows me to safeguard my energy effectively, ensuring I reserve it for essential matters such as self-care and healing. With conditions like TSW, eczema, and chronic fatigue demanding considerable energy, protecting one’s energy becomes paramount. Prioritizing self-care, far from an act of selfishness, becomes an essential step to preserve the resources needed for healing.
Learn more about Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW) on my resources page, and check out www.itsan.org