What Is Healing?
My definition of healing has continuously shifted throughout my healing journey with Topical Steroid Withdrawal.
When I first started TSW over a decade ago, my definition of healing was having clear and essentially perfect skin. I never expected my journey would take as long as it has, and that I would still be dealing with skin flare ups and health issues to this day. However, as long (and at many points, frustrating) this journey has been, it has also taught me so much about myself, my body, and life in general.
A few years ago, when I finally realized how important the mental, emotional, and spiritual healing is in addition to the physical, and embarked on my deeper inner healing, my definition of healing started to change. I dove into the world of trauma healing and the mind body connection, and learned a lot from various experts in the field. One of my favorites, Dr. Gabor Mate, defines healing as “to be whole”. And as he often states, the word trauma comes from the greek word meaning “wound”.
So, trauma is an open wound inside of us, one that needs to be tended to, just like any external wound would. It is fascinating how, in skin conditions like eczema and TSW, that is essentially a perfect mirror. We have wounds on our skin, and to me, they often symbolize and are a reflection of the wounds within us that still need healing.
On one hand, these days, I would define healing as learning to manage my condition and co-exist with it. Accepting that it may always be there, and having a “tool-kit” for when I have flare ups and symptoms. As opposed to expecting that my skin will be perfectly clear and flare free one day, it is now more about accepting and loving myself, no matter what my skin is like. It is learning to embrace all the ups and downs that come with chronic illness and healing, and embracing the fact that I cannot control what my body does, or what happens in life, but what I can do is control my reaction to it.
On the other hand, I believe we are already whole just as we are. Whether we have skin or other health issues, whether we are depressed or happy, single or in a relationship, rich or poor, it doesn’t matter. I believe all human beings are whole and perfect, just as they are in this moment. That doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t strive to do and be better, and to self improve. But much of the time, I think self improvement and healing itself can be a trap of its own. W
hen we are so focused on healing and being better and wishing we are something we are not, or somewhere we are not, we are sending the universe a message of that exact frequency – and the universe will respond accordingly, and give us back more of the same. So by continuing to focus on healing and NEEDING to be better, we also resist that very healing. We resist the feeling and being “better”. It is only through acceptance of ourselves, just as we are in the moment – wounds and all, when true healing occurs.
